What brand of condom is best? 

This week, The Hard Shoulder’s Kieran Cuddihy and reporter Simon Tierney consider the advantages of three different brands for the Shopping Trolley Hotline. 

Simon purchased three different packs of condoms, the cheapest of which was Lidl’s Mondo Fruity condoms which has a “very exotic” yellow and orange packet - all for the price of €4.99.

Tesco’s Ribs & Dots cost €5.50 and “perhaps unsurprisingly” the most expensive option was the Durex’s packet for a “whopping” €12.99. 

Unlike many other products where a low price is considered an advantage, Kieran feels this is one item where consumers would rather splash out. 

“You’ve got a nagging doubt about how strong the cheaper products might be,” he said. 

“And the consequence of that is possibly a child in your life or an STI - it’s a fairly grave consequence.

“The chocolate spread I mentioned last week, if you buy a cheap chocolate spread and it doesn’t taste that nice, the consequence is that you’ve had a slightly unsavoury eating experience.

“You don’t want to be down in Holles Street in nine months’ time.” 

This is a condom I inflated using a pump, to test for durability.

I'll be discussing different brands and I'll share some advice kindly supplied by @CarolineWest_IE on today's Shopping Trolley Hotline on @TheHardShoulder at 5.30pm this evening 🎈 pic.twitter.com/gSaWxxpDsE

— Simon Tierney (@tierneysimon) June 14, 2023

One important detail to note is the size of the condom - which some men avoid thinking about because of the stigma associated with having a small penis. 

“The Lidl one has a girth of 52mm which is 5.2cm, the Tesco one is the same but the Durex is considerably different at 56mm,” Simon said. 

“Dr Caroline West [an expert on sexual matters] said that could be the difference between getting an STI or not getting an STI.” 

The issue of size provoked one listener to text in that, “Condoms [have] three sizes: small, medium and liar.” 

Simon commended the Tesco condoms for containing “very simple diagrams” to help people who have not had a lot of sex. 

“If you have taken drink, those very simple diagrams rather than the tiny, tiny small print that it’s written with, it might be the most useful guide for a novice,” he said. 

Alternatively, condoms can be ordered for free through the National Condom Distribution Service.

Main image: Simon Tierney