Kids should learn that success in life isn’t handed to them – it's earnt through hard work.

That’s according to parenting consultant Kirsty Ketley, who told Newstalk Breakfast that letting children win all the time can be “potentially quite damaging”.

“You’re kind of setting them up, aren’t you really, for a life of expecting to win and to do well,” she said.

“It can also make them put undue pressure on themselves because they feel like they have to achieve, they have to do well all the time.”

Girl playing chess in the living room at home. Image; Kian Khoon Tan / Alamy. 31 March 2017

According to Ms Ketley, children should instead by taught to be happy with doing their best, rather than giving them unrealistic expectations of perfection.

She said that children should learn to accept their losses young, rather than letting them think they’re invincible for the first eight to 10-years of their life.

“I think once you get to that age, that they’ve already started going through competition and things in life and it starts in schools,” Ms Ketley said.

Fair competition

However, Ms Ketley said if you are playing games with your children you should keep the playing field as even as possible.

“It’s got to be a fair competition," she said.

"You know, playing games of snap with a five-year-old is perfectly fine, they're going to be able to play snap.

“But you wouldn’t maybe bring out trivial pursuit and expect them to be answering all the general knowledge questions."

Ms Ketley said that while being empathetic towards your child's feelings is never a bad thing, it can sometimes lead to "over parenting".

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Main image: Family board game. Image: Rightdisc / Alamy. 28 June 2020