Is it okay to expect a certain amount of money as a wedding gift? 

On this week’s 'So You Think You’re an Adult' with Moncrieff, one listener said his wife’s family seem to be “cheap”. 

“My wife and I got married a couple of months ago, and while we had a great day, it’s been clouded by the fact that her side of the family gave us terrible gifts or way too little in the card,” he said.  

He said he typically gives enough money to cover his own meal and provides extra as a gift.

Wedding reception. Image via Unsplash.

“However, most of my wife’s side of the family gave us gifts instead of cash, and frankly, the gifts were crap - we got paintings that could have come from IKEA,” he said.  

“Those that gave us money only gave us about €100 or €150 between them.” 

The listener said he feels he and his wife are “in debt” following this. 

"Divorce him straight away"

Actress Mary McEvoy said if she was married to this man, she would “divorce him straight away”.  

She said his wife’s side might not give a lot of money precisely because they’re a large family.  

“Think of Christmases and everything else,” she said. “They're probably used to not spending a whole heap of money on each other because they just don't have the money.” 

She said he is acting as if they have to pay “admission” to their family member’s wedding, and it is “sad” that there is now so much pressure to provide large financial gifts at weddings. 

“I know everything is for show now,” she said. “And now you're paying to go to something.” 

"Materialistic" weddings

Broadcaster and drag queen Declan Buckley said weddings have become more “materialistic” in the last century.  

“They’re spending loads of money, hosting a party,” he said. “And then to pretend that the people they’re inviting have not only the emotional and social pressure to come, they also have to fork up €300.” 

W89732 Red Rose Wedding Table Decorations

Declan said he understands why couples would prefer cash gifts to presents if they’re having a “Keeping Up With the Jones-style wedding” - but they can’t expect it.

“The sudden leap to go from a theory [people will give money] to an expectation is where the social danger is,” he said.  

The groom sounds “oblivious” to the value of a wedding and the guests invited, according to Declan.  

“The whole emotion [of a wedding] and the value of it has been displaced from being a value into being a price,” he said.