When should you have a conversation with your partner about sex – and when is it time to jump ship? 

On this week’s 'So You Think You’re an Adult' with Moncrieff, one listener asked what to do with her partner of six months who has strange exclamations during sex.  

“We get on great and he is the sweetest guy,” she said. “But there is one part of the physical side of things that I’m finding difficult to get used to.” 

“When he reaches climax – every time, and without exception – he shouts, ‘I win...I win...I win’.” 

She said she has tried to joke with her partner about this – but he “gets so embarrased and shuts down the conversation almost immediately”. 

The listener said this has prevented her from reaching a climax herself because she is anticipating her partner’s exclamation.  

Have a conversation 

Irish singer Niamh Kavanagh acknowledged that “you’re not fully in control” when you climax during sex – but the listener needs to bring up the issue “properly”.  

“If it happens once maybe you can get by it,” she said. “If it’s happening continually and it’s putting you off, I think it’s a valid thing to bring up in a conversation.” 

Niamh said the answer isn’t necessarily to leave her partner – but you need to be able to have a conversation with someone when you’re being “intimate”.  

She said time is ticking on when the listener’s partner should discuss his issues. 

“If it’s been going on for three months, she’s given him a good go to sort that out,” Niamh said. “But he’s not actually sorted it.” 

The ick 

Broadcaster and drag queen Declan Buckley warned the listener there is “something a bit weird and slightly uncomfortable about sex”.  

“A lot of people feel vulnerable in that moment so I can understand people being a bit squeamish discussing it,” he said.  

Despite that, Declan said if something is giving the listener “the ick”, it will continue to “build up”.  

“If you’re getting the ick in that situation and it’s preventing you from reaching completion – it's getting into compatibility zones,” he said.  

Declan admitted, “the more I think about it, the more I think she just needs to get away from him,” - but he said the listener should figure out why her partner doesn’t want to talk to her about his exclamation during sex. 

“There are reasons why he doesn’t want to talk about it,” he said.  

 Click here to listen back to the full episode.