On this week's So You Think You're An Adult, a listener is "aghast" at the prospect of giving cash as a wedding present.
Declan Buckley and Amanda Brunker joined Moncrieff to address this and other listener dilemmas.
The dilemma
I have been invited to a cousin’s wedding with my partner. However, she’s keen to give them a present of money as she says that’s what everyone wants these days.
I’m aghast as I would rather get them something more traditional. However, is she right and I’m just behind the times?
If so, how much money should we give? What if my cousin and his wife think our present is really crass? Should I stick with my gut and give them a toaster?
Declan’s advice
"Yeah, you’re not really with it! The reason why you’re being invited is not only because they want you to bring cash - they want you to bring your partner, who is the only one who sounds like they have a clue about what’s going on in the world!
"Cash is king.
"It depends on what kind of wedding you have. Most people say we’re putting together a big event… obviously, it’s partially for the couple, but they also feel obliged to bring aunties and uncles and so on.
"It’s much easier if the costs are defrayed by people bringing money along.
"Most people are also getting married later in life now. They don’t need your horrible toaster… they have one already in the house where they’ve been living together.
"If they do need it, they have a wedding list where they’ve already picked it out."
Amanda’s advice
"The only reason you’re being invited is to bring cash! That’s what everybody wants.
"Before COVID hit and the big weddings were a thing, people were going ‘who else can we get here?’ The average would be €100-200 per envelope.
"I know so many people who literally didn’t have the money to pay the wedding band, the catering, or the honeymoon… until the guests came and handed over their envelopes. That is fact.
T"hat’s how it works. I know people who gave cheques to the wedding band and said ‘don’t cash that yet’. Apparently, the band went ‘good luck’, cashed it, and then the couple on their honeymoon… their cards bounced!"
