It is going to be a bumper weekend of rugby in Dublin this weekend as the capital plays host to European rubgy's two showpiece finals.
Leinster take on Stade Francais at the RDS tonight, while two French sides, Clermont and Toulon, do battle in tomorrow's Heineken Cup final at the Aviva Stadium.
So with that in mind here's a few words and phrases you might need to enjoy the finals in true French style and also make our Gallic guests feel welcome.
Rules
Try = Essai. (Pronounced more or less like the English word essay. It is also a far more satisfying sight than the average school or college essay)
Drop goal = Le Drop (The French decided not to tamper with the original language)
Penalty = Pénalité (Johnny Wilkinson and Morgan Parra will get their chance to convert some Pay-nal-ee-tays)
Offside = Hors-jeu (The pronunciation looks as simple as explaining the offside rule. But it is quite tricky. The hor part is simple enough aside from the h being silent. But 'jeu' is halfway between 'joo' and 'joe' if that makes any sense)
Scrum = Mêlée (You can get away with using the anglicized version of the word when the opposing packs lock horns)
Line-out = Touche (It's not like the English word 'Touch'. It sounds more like 'Tuuuusshhh)
22 = Vingt-deux mètres ('vingt' is pronounced like the French word for wine, which is 'vin' - the n is silent - while 'deux' sounds a bit like d'uh)
Positions
Prop = Pilier (The word pilier is French for pillar. But it sounds more like pill-ee-aye)
Hooker = Talonneur (The job does not exist but if it was your life's dream to clip birds' talons, you would be a talonner)
Scrum-half = Démi de mêlée (The Demi Moore of the Melee. If you would want to sound more Francophone, make Demi sound a little more like Dummy)
Fly-half = Démi d'ouverture (do-ver-tour)
Wing = Allier (Simon Zebo is an 'allie-yay)
Full-back = Arrière (It sounds deceptively like 'Harry-Hair' except with a silent h on harry)
Other titbits
Heineken Cup = H Cup (Because alcoholic drinks adverts are banned in French sport, they call it the H Cup)
Over there = La bas (A French person may ask you for directions this weekend. Forget about telling them to "turn left here" or "turn right there". That is too complicated. Just point in the general direction of the RDS or Aviva Stadium and say 'La Bah'. If that is not satisfactory, hail a taxi and tell the driver where they want to go)
Finally you may want to make use of a swear word if results are not going your way. Sacrebleu is just the word for you and was made famous by Agatha Christie's Hercule Poirot. It has gone out of fashion in France mostly because it is extremely old-fashioned and not considered a curse word today. The English equivalent would be 'Darn It'.
