Dil Wickremasinghe says her new polyamorous relationship is the “opposite of cheating”. 

The founder of Insight Matters and psychotherapist has dated her wife, Ann Marie, for 13 years and the couple have two children together. 

The two women plan on spending the rest of their lives together but there is now a third person in their relationship. 

“In the last six months, we have transitioned our relationship from a monogamous relationship to an ethical non-monogamous polyamorous relationship,” Dil told The Hard Shoulder. 

“That’s a mouthful, isn’t it?” 

A polyamorous relationship is when an individual dates more than one person with the knowledge and consent of their partners. 

It is the opposite of monogamy when two people only date each other and any sexual contact with another person is considered cheating. 

In her work as a psychotherapist, Dil has encountered more and more people who are in polyamorous relationships and the couple decided to try it themselves. 

“We went on an app - because we are Moms with two young children, we don’t have time to hang out in bars,” she said. 

“Incredibly, very quickly, we met another woman and we both fell madly in love with her. 

“She’s divorced and she also has two young kids around the same age as ours.

“The kids get on great and the connection was so strong from the outset.” 

One woman with two men.

The three women describe themselves as a ‘thruple’ and Dil describes their relationship as “calm and serene”.

“It’s actually the opposite of cheating - because that would be nonconsensual,” she said. 

“That would cause utter devastation and, for me, polyamory is very much about adding and inviting love and connection into my life and not replacing it.” 

According to a survey by YouGov in 2016, only 51% of millennials aspire to a monogamous relationship.