Many people make new year’s resolutions to become a ‘better version’ of themselves – but do these goals put us under too much pressure?

On The Pat Kenny Show, clinical psychotherapist Stephanie Regan said that she has never liked resolutions.

“I have always felt they’re kind of punishing,” she said.

“There’s something negative in them, something kind of, ‘Oh, you had a little indulgence at Christmas and now you have to cut it all back and get to the gym and do it five times a week,’ and all of that.

“I just think it’s a little bit hard. Myself, I’m very much more of a tweaking kind of person.”

Study finds the average person will give up their New Years resolution by February.

Ms Regan said that in our efforts to improve ourselves, we often neglect our relationships.

“I think about feeding your joy, feeding your well-being, feeding your joy, your happiness – and of course, your relationships,” she said.

“That is really where the essence, if you like, of your well-being is, and I think you can do things that make such a difference.

“We know much more now in terms of research, what is important – just in the same way, I suppose, as people know around nutrition – we know a lot around relationships, around happiness and the things that make a difference.”

'Repotting' relationships

According to Ms Regan, we should aim to ‘repot’ our relationships in the new year.

“Repotting is a little term that I picked up in The New York Times, and I think it’s kind of funny, but it’s kind of useful,” she said.

“It really is the idea of bringing something fresh into your relationship, like taking the relationships you already have – whether that’s a friend, whether that’s a more intimate relationship – do something fresh and new with that person in another environment.

“What you find is the novelty factor enlivens the connection in an intimate relationship, but also even in a friendship, it allows you to see the other side of people.”

Ms Regan said this can be especially needed after Christmas, as many relationships run into problems over the festive season.

Featured image: New Years Resolutions. Image: Cvorovic Vesna / Alamy. 19 November 2018