They both arrived with so much promise. One was a new broom ready to sweep away the bad times while the other was the Anointed One ready to carry on the work of The Great One. And then reality hit.
The Government and David Moyes. The ultimate odd couple but stick with me as I show you how similar they are.
Let’s start with where they came from. Moyes is easy. He managed a small town team called Preston in what is euphemistically called the second-tier of English Football. To his credit, Moyes helped them into the Premier League. On the back of this he was head-hunted by Everton 10 odd years ago. They won very little but our Dave was seen as a safe pair of hands.
A bit like Enda.
Enda was a damn fine constituency TD for most of his life. Sometime in 1997 he found his own Preston and was made a Junior Minister. Then the Bert-man happened and 12 years in the wilderness began. Enda’s Everton moment occurred when he was made leader of the party. For the mid-noughties, this was the big time. The Tiger couldn’t roar forever and Enda just had to bide his time. That’s the great thing about democracy.
Biding his time is what Moyes seemed to be good at. Everton, in his early years, seemed to be going places but then it all slowed down. Stagnant is a cruel, harsh word so here are the facts: Football demands that managers either win trophies or get their team into a competition that brings in the mullah. Ah. David didn’t really manage this and his board seemed not to care. He was going nowhere fast. But lo and behold, what do we see coming from the sky? Yes it’s a big god-like hand ready to pluck David out of Goodison Park and plant him right into the centre of the universe.
So now that our two heroes have their feet under their respective tables, even their most churlish detractors would want to wish them well and think they should be able to do a decent job.
Oh dear.
We’ll start with Enda. Two years of the ‘the dog ate my homework’ school of government communication was not what we signed up for. Yes we knew the others made a dog’s dinner out of the country but we elected you to govern not blame the past. We knew it wouldn’t be easy. We knew things like the tax base was going to be widened but on the flip side we wanted to know that the extra taxes we might have to pay would actually go to fund services.
Another big ‘Oh dear’. Local property taxes to be spent locally? Ha, we actually believed that one.
They have moved on. They know blaming the bogeyman has run its course. They are now pinning their hopes on the simple heroism of the mugs that voted them in. Look at all of Enda’s speeches he made referencing ‘sacrifices’. He even roped in Ireland’s favourite Messiah to bang the message home. Bono loves us for all the sacrifices made.
We know we made sacrifices. What we want now are explanations. We want to know why we made our fingers bleed. We want to know why we targeted those with the greatest needs. We want to know why.
You see I haven't bothered to ask for policies. These guys wouldn’t know one if it jumped up and hit them where it hurts. A nice simple explanation would be all we want. Not spin. Explanation.
But they are hollow men. They don’t understand. The crown just doesn’t fit. They run up and down the touchline screaming instructions hoping it might just work out by year five or six depending if you are Minister or a manager.
God bless strong-willed management types. Just like the meek, they will inherit the Earth. God help us.
