What should you do when you dislike your child's partner?

It is, according to Counselling Psychologist Leslie Shoemaker, a phenomenon that is a “worldwide problem”.

Speaking to Newstalk Breakfast, she had said had seen it happen in her own family.

“This happens all over the place and, by the way, my sister married the guy my mother hated,” she said.

“I love my brother-in-law, he’s fab.”

The problem was, she added, her mother is a “snob” and her brother-in-law was not the type of man she envisioned for her daughter.

“My Mom is lovely and she wanted the best for my sister,” Ms Shoemaker said.

“But the irony is my brother-in-law… he loves getting his hands dirty, so he’s always dirty,” she said.

“He’s not a doctor, he’s not an accountant, he didn’t meet the standard [she wanted for her daughter].”

Young couple sitting on beach.

If that sounds like someone in your family, Ms Shoemaker said it is important to understand parents approach it from a place of “love and caring” for their child.

“The difficulty is, if parents go and just point blank say, ‘I don’t like them, they’re lazy, they’re this’, you’re going to push your child into the arms of that individual,” she said.

“You have to wait it out and hope the kid will see things [that you don’t like].

“As long as it’s not big red warning flags… and I think it’s an opportunity for parents to take a step back and look at themselves.

“Go, ‘Hold on, what’s this really about? What does this say about me?’”

For those parents who are unhappy with their child's partner, Ms Shoemaker advised them to “put your kid first and foremost”.

“If this partner’s making your kid happy, be happy for the kid,” she said.

“They may not be your cup of tea but it could be because your kid has some different values that you do and that relationship just reflects that.

“If a parent is bringing in racism or some sort of bigotry, just check yourself.”

Main image: A couple holding hands.