When is it acceptable to decline a wedding invitation?

Some estimates have put the average cost of an Irish wedding at €32,000 but less work has been done on the cost of attending as a guest. 

Speaking to Sarah Madden for Newstalk Breakfast, Sinead Ryan said being invited to a wedding can be increasingly pricey. 

“We know for sure that an awful lot of couples go into debt,” she said. 

“The evidence that guests also get into debt is anecdotal but I am absolutely positive that that is the case.” 

A bride and groom smiling after their wedding in Italy.

Ms Ryan said the extra cost means it has become easier to politely wish the happy couple all the best and then not to attend. 

“I think more and more people are now finding it more acceptable to say, ‘Look, I can’t afford it,’” Ms Ryan said.  

“I think this is heightened if the bride and groom decide to opt for a foreign wedding because we know it’s not just a day out. 

“Especially, if you’ve also dragged them over to Barcelona for your hen party and now you’re going to Portugal for your wedding. 

“That’s a massive expense for anybody and I hope that many, many people feel it is acceptable to say, ‘You know what, I’ll think of you on the day, I’ll raise a glass to you and I’ll bring you out to dinner when you get back, I won’t be attending.’”

Who to invite

On the flip side, who to invite can be a massive source of stress for the happy couple and comedienne Mary Clare FitzPatrick said she did not even invite all members of her family.  

“We just started making an Excel sheet - let me rephrase that - Richard started making an Excel spreadsheet,” he said. 

“We just started putting down names. 

“I come from a very big family; I have 52 first cousins, so there’s kind of a rule that you don’t invite each other to each other’s weddings - because once you start you’ll never stop.”

A bride and groom kissing in a forest. Image: Westend61 GmbH / Alamy

But Ms FitzPatrick and her fiance did decide to give everyone a plus one, ensuring every guest has someone to talk to on the big day. 

“I think it’s nice to do that and I felt I didn’t want people feeling they were just popping in on their own - even if they know other people,” she said. 

“So, we invited 170 and we initially planned for 100, now we’re at 127.”

Main image: A couple cutting their wedding cake at their wedding reception.