A new app that connects widows and widowers for sexual purposes is a “delightful distraction” from grief, according to its creator.

WidowsFire creator Nicky Wake lost her husband, Andy, in April 2020 following several years of illness.

“My grieving already started,” Ms Wake told Moncrieff. “I was in anticipatory grief because I knew he was going to die.” 

After Ms Wake’s husband passed away, she began to once again desire an intimate relationship. 

“Because I had such a long grieving process, my mind started feeling the process of dating again,” she said.  

“I wasn’t ready to be back on the shelf.” 

Nicky Wake and her late husband, Andy, in 2017. Image via Nicky Wake

Dating as a widow

Despite that, when Ms Wakes joined dating apps again, she found she wasn’t prepared for the full extent of dating. 

“It’s like the Wild West out there,” she said. “There are awful inappropriate pictures, there’s ghosting, and as a widow, there’s the question of when I tell them."

To help bereaved spouses enter the dating pool again, Ms Wake created Chapter Two, an app designed for widows and widowers who are ready for serious romance once again. 

“Within that whole circle of widows and widowers, you could find your next significant relationship,” Ms Wake said. 

Widow's fire

However, Ms Wake realised many users on Chapter Two weren’t focused on a relationship. 

“One of the most hotly contested and talked about subjects was ‘Widow’s fire’,” she said.  

‘Widow’s fire’ refers to the common phenomenon of a desire for sex following bereavement of a spouse or partner. 

“When you shared your bed for 20 years with somebody and all of sudden they’re gone, there’s a gaping void,” Ms Wake said. 

“I needed something to make me feel female again and empowered and beautiful.” 

'A delightful distraction'

That was when Ms Wake began plans to create the WidowsFire app, set to launch in June. 

Ms Wake said sex between two widows can be a “delightful distraction” where there are “no strings, no guilt and everyone is on the same page”. 

“Some widows have sex with the same sex for the first time, because that feels like an easier leap of faith,” she said. 

“Widow’s fire is everywhere. It’s a taboo, but it’s a taboo I want to break.” 

You can sign up for a free trial of the new WidoswFire App here.