When it comes to relaxing and taking time off, parents need to put themselves before their children.

That's the advice from broadcaster Keith Walsh, who was speaking to Lunchtime Live about the ethics of holidaying without your children.

"I do many things without my children," he said. "I do as much as possible without my children."

"You have to look after yourself first. If you don't look after yourself, you're not going to be much good to anybody else."

Mr Walsh said the foundations of a good relationship are only maintained if parents allow themselves to live with some independence from their children.

"If you think that you're gonna marry somebody at the age of 20-something, 30-something and then not really do anything together, like go away for weekends or go on holidays," he said.

"And at 65 still be like best friends and lovers and all that kind of stuff – you've got it mixed up."

This is not always easy for parents who enjoy their children's company, Mr Walsh said.

"A lot of the time we end up booking things and saying that we'll just do it ourselves and as it gets closer, we just bring the kids," he said.

'Fair'

One listener, Helen, said she didn't think it was fair for parents to have a holiday if their children do not also get some time away.

"If you don't get to bring the child away for a holiday separately, is it fair to do with that you get your two weeks away, and then the child doesn't?" she said.

Trish said her children going away on school trips is the equivalent of her going on holidays too.

"To me, that's a holiday for me because they're gone," she said. "They still get the holiday and I don't feel guilty for staying at home."

"I'm sitting down reading the book, open a bottle of wine, watching the television and it's always been the best of both worlds."

'Black market'

Mr Walsh said issues arise for parents who cannot get childcare when they want to travel.

"You're calling in favours and it's usually, 'Will you do this for us and we'll do it for you'," he said.

"It's a trade-off  – it's the black market for babysitting."

Eric said there were times on his recent holiday when he "wished" he had "left the kids at home".

"When you look back, it's worth it – there's only gonna be a couple of years where the kids are wanting to go on holidays," he said.

"After that then, they won't want to be seen near you."

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