Giving up on making new friendships as we get older is a “big mistake”, a clinical psychotherapist has warned.

A recent European Union survey found that 20% of Irish people report feeling lonely most or all of the time - compared to an EU average of 13%.

The lowest figures were recorded in the Netherlands, Czech Republic, Croatia and Austria which all recorded loneliness levels below 10%.

Across the EU, 35% of people reported feeling lonely some of the time.

The data led to Green Party Senator Pauline O’Reilly to urge the Government to consider appointing a Minister for Loneliness to tackle the problem.

Studies have found that as we age and busy ourselves with work and family life, people find it more difficult to make and sustain new friendships.

On Newstalk Breakfast, clinical psychotherapist Stephanie Regan said it is a mistake to stop making new friends - no matter what your age. 

“I always think that the making of friends and the expanding of your social circle is something that people kind of give up on quite a lot after that first phase of life – that first, sort of, 20 years,” she said.

"Then they meet parents at the schoolyard if they’re into that phase of life.

“People then tend to stop; they go into a complete kind of ebb and it’s a big mistake because we know an awful lot now about how important social connections are.” 

Men at a bar drinking. Image: Dusan Petkovic / Alamy Stock Photo

Ms Regan said people are “more socially isolated” than ever in the modern world, due to the rise of social media and remote working.

She said the changes make it all the more important to be proactive about friendships as you age.

“There’s a lot of opportunities… that are slipping away in life,” she said. 

“There are many more normal opportunities that have slipped away from people. 

“So, we just can’t be accidental about friends, we have to be quite intentional about it I think.” 

Friends chatting.

Ms Regan said there is “nothing wrong” with online friends, but we also need friends in the real world as well. 

“Friends online are friends,” she said. 

“People on the phone are friends but I would like to see all the dimensions to that friendship. 

“Because the core of friendship and a deep connection is that you share things together. 

“Actually, the research shows that it’s sharing our flaws and stories, that’s a big part of how we deepen our connections.” 

Ms Regan said the reality of life means that your friendships will evolve over time – people die, move country or county and sometimes, they simply grow apart.

'Engage in new hobbies'

With this in mind, Ms Regan said you should always be on the lookout for new people who you have something in common with. 

“The ebb and flow of life is such that your friendships are going to change,” she said. 

“I always feel that… we should be always sort of adding to our sphere, not just letting it stay stagnant. 

“I think when you start new things or you engage in new hobbies or get involved in new activities, you meet new people. 

“They don’t have to be your best friend but they are a set of connections - like a social map.” 

According to a survey by Pew in the United States, 53% of adults say they have between one and four close friends.

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Main image: Three retired women sit on a bench. Image: Cum Okolo / Alamy Stock Photo