No one knows the dark side of GAA better than Sean Cavanagh.
Speaking to #OTBAM this week with the launch of his new book, Cavanagh detailed some exchanges with his Ulster rivals during his career.
One clash involved calling Donegal's Michael Murphy a "fat bastard" and Cavanagh explained on this week's show how the need to win impacted on his personality.
"That's not me as a person," he admitted. "I never wanted to sledge someone. I never wanted to pull Conor McManus down but I'd probably do it again.
"I saw my personality changing because of my need to win."
He added: "That obsession to win. I felt that the more I put into it and the harder I trained and the fact that we hadn't won an All-Ireland in a few years, as captain of the team I took that quite personally.
"I felt like we had to do whatever it takes to win. At times I tried to set a template and it just didn't sit easy with me."
The Moy man explained that because the later years of his career with the Red Hand were less fruitful than those of the early noughties, he had to go inside himself to find an extra edge.
"I sacrificed more. Fionnuala would have said something to me when I was icing my knee at 11pm at night or I'd tell her that I'd be up to go to the gym at 6am before I go to work or I've a rehab session to do and you're going to the gym at 11pm.
"She'd say to me 'this isn't rational behaviour for a human being.'
"I felt like I needed to do this to get an extra edge. At times it was desperate, it certainly wasn't rational at times.
"But I had that success so early in my career that I was obsessed with trying to get it back."
Cavanagh insisted the demands he put on himself ultimately changed his behaviour on the football pitch.
"I just wanted to get out on the field to score goals and score points. That's a very purist way of thinking about it, but that's because I had the Gormleys and the Riceys to do all the hard stuff at the back.
"In that later part of my career, I probably come the enforcer to a certain extent. I felt an obligation to do that.
"As times become leaner, I become more desperate. I did things on the football field that I certainly wasn't proud of. I have to live with that."
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